my d-eepest love

2009-08-09T02:08:00.004+08:00

I dyed my hair black. Cant imagine that. First time in my whole 20yrs of life, i have to see myself in black hair, Lol! Well, blogger is perfectly fine today. Changed my blog's song and removed my archive. Heh. Damn sian luh. Stay at home all the day long, nw chatting with Mummy, Sis&her frens as they came over just nw. Hoho. Bored to death. Hais. Forget it. Moodswing.... :(

2009-08-06T23:01:00.001+08:00

* I did this test. Quite accurate except for the education part. LOL. *

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2009-08-05T16:04:00.000+08:00

Blogger is having problems. Shall nt update for the next few days. Haha :)

2009-07-31T11:53:00.001+08:00

Well, this a conversation between one of my relatives who immigrated to America.
Look at hw sarcastic and hw sharp this conversation is. It's gonna be long one kos i copied the whole of it.
And here it goes.

test says:
so how's your family?
seems like i havent seen them for ages

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
all fine! hoho.
ya, v long ler. hmmm.

test says:
how's your big sis doing?
married alr?

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
fine.. hmmm. think next yr ba..

test says:
hahahah
what abotu you?
found someone you like yet?
handsome young man

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
oh, my bf is nt young...

test says:
ohh,,,why?
old man not very good wo
hahah

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
kos there's many tings which i dont knw hw to say..

test says:
ahhaah
well
as long as you know what you're doing
that'll be fine
believe yourself
and believe me
i am a love machine
so i can give you some advise
hahahaha
don't tell my wife
she's gonna get jealous

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
Haha. But you have nv met all those damn shit tings i walked pass did you?
there's many tings in my life which you dont knw and you nv tried my path before. there's alot you dont knw..

test says:
haha of course i dont know hon....
no one can understand another person

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
no, is see hw you put effort to understand tt person.

test says:
but....
i can always help
hahah
and one thing you must always remember as i say as your brother
you can be happy, but if your surrounding is not happy, true happiness can never be achieved
so, you have to try your best and make sure everyone is happy
if you really find it worth it, you have to try hard
and you will see the result of what you want

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
I am only happy with what i am happy with. You know all along i dont go by others way. i have forked out alot in return for what i want.
all tt you say nw is what i have known abt one or two yrs ago. so i know what to do and what nt to.

test says:
hahah
then good
i believe you know that i've heard stories
that's why i'm worried about you

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
i know. i''m sure your parents will tell you

test says:
we used to play together when we were young ma
that's why i care

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
i know

test says:
you like my little sister
very precious de

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
but dont tell me anything regarding relationship kos i have my own ways and i know who i can get my real happiness with. i have seen too much, im nt the forever wont grow up little girl as what this whole family is regarding me as.

test says:
ai ya
no matter how old you are
you still my little sister
and your parent's little girl
understand?
hheheh

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
Haa. I'm older than you alright..

test says:
oh yea
i forgot
haha
still, you look far younger than me
i look like 25 now
.......

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
Haha. Gf like can liao lar.. care so much also no use..

test says:
true true
she's so cute isnt see
she*

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
maybe your taste and my taste different ba..
if you think she's cute then okay liao lor.

test says:
lol...
come on
she's a cutie pie
hahah
i'm joking
i like to show off

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
Haa. If you think so i gt nth to say.
if you really like her you should accept everything in her..
why still want her to send all her pets away? hmmm.

test says:
how did you know about the pets thing
did i talk to you about this before?
ahhh crap....i think i have alzheimers
cant rmb things.....
well anyway, humans are very contradictive
so there's no really such thing as pure love
like acceptance of everything
because...we're humans, easy as pie
well, you still have much to learn, learning is fun, i'm still learning and i like it
i'll talk to you some other time
you take care, and say hi for me to your family
oh yea, by the way, give me your cell #, and your family #
maybe when i free, call and say hi long time no talk la
miss you all

珮琪 ` Joeann says:
tt's kos you havent met love yet.
tc too.

That's the end.

* And to think you're asking me not to tell "your wife" abt it when i dont even know her, seen her or speak to her at all. Are you even legally married yet? I havent heard your parents said so *

2009-07-30T06:35:00.000+08:00

Phew. Finally turn my time back again! Heh. Will be gg for interview later in the afternoon. Hope i'll be able to get this job. Thanks Meifong for the help! Hoho. If gt time then hopefully evening go tua awhile till night then come back. Haa. Update again. :)

2009-07-28T22:35:00.003+08:00

Been long ever since my last post ehh. Hoho. I wonder what are the rest doing at tua nw. Duh. It's so so so sian! But nvm, i'm sure i can do it well and pass this test der. Heh. Received B's letter again when i opened the letterbox tt day. Although ppl usually say that words said or anything expressed by those inside cannot be trusted, but i dont care. I've decided to give him a chance to prove himself to me. Nt gonna be like the past again. Hee. Alright, from tonight onwards, i'll stay home every night ler. No more nightlife, ton at tua or whatever liao. Glad that there's still SX,SJ,Ah Gong Uncle,Ah Han,Lfz,Hainam daddy, all from tua and B who really dotes and cares for me. Like always. They'll nv be gone from my life! Whahaha. :D Anw, it's quite shag also luh. Kos SJ said she'll be frying finger foods for all today. *Slurps* Wont be able to attend dinner at "Phuey Leng Keng" tgt with them tml night and "Guan Yim Bio" dinner i cant go also. Only can rest at home. Haha. I'm looking for jobs urgently nowadays. Anyone have any job to intro? I need a job very urgently. Pls contact me or tag at my board here if YOU have any jobs to intro to me alright? Greatly appreciated. Thank you very much! :)

2009-07-19T16:48:00.004+08:00

It's a stay home Saturday&Sunday. Lol. Have been spending my time accompanying my family for the whole of ytd. Didnt join my girls for some reasons, which basically is only my own problem. Haa. Intended to go tua, but was too tired as i woke up early, so shall go up tonight instead. Heh. Have so many tings to say, so many tings in mind which i cannot solve.. Sometimes i really wonder if all these are what i wanted.. Or to say if i ever wanted everything to turn out this way? Be it family, friends or relationship.. I tried giving my best, but it doesnt seem to be turning out the way i tot it would be.. Even thou my girls are still around, ppl who cares are still caring, yet i just cant help to feel there's something missing.. And i dont know what it is.. I've been having moodswings, my temper/attitude have been changing no matter how much i tell myself i cannot act tis way.. And i seriously wonder why am i not understanding everything tt is happening.. It just seems like my thoughts are luring me to fall deeper and deeper into its beautiful trap and i hate it! Humphs. I guess i really need to talk to SJ.. She's the only one able to pull me out from all this negative thinkings.. Lol. So much so much tings.!

2009-07-16T16:22:00.004+08:00

Humphs. Phew. I'm back home again, thank God!.

Ahh, basically i've nth to blog about. Just only that i've been spending my time outside like finally for a day..? Haha! Slacked at tua, chat with Shijie and Xueqi till early morning. Came back home for a rest, headed out and nw back home again. Hmmm. Nth much to do luh, tonight should be staying out at tua again. Hope everything would just be fine. God bless. :)

Err, well. I dont know if you've been coming to read my blog or whatever. Or i'd rather say I dont know the reasons for why you are giving me such attitudes, but, i'm glad you informed earlier and thank you for putting effort to asking your parents. It's like, i'm sorry for the harsh words or being too straightforward in my expressions/emotions.. Just hope that everything will be well, I will stop all comments, but still only wish that every single thing will be able to go smoothly between your family, him and me. Thanks and sorry.

2009-07-13T10:08:00.005+08:00

Hais. Early in the morning. Such unhappy tings happen to me. Humphs. I really dont understand why, why isit everytime when i have problems i'm always alone? Why is there no support? And i just feel that some ppl are just pushing me to do what i dont want, i cant believe that's happening. Family doesnt agree, friends say the wrong thing and ppl who should be concerned are far away from me.. Bla bla bla! I really just wish there's this person who can grab me out of my troubles and put me in a place that i feel safe, un-stress and away from everything. But, maybe this person doesnt exist.. I'm so disappointed. Disappointed in everyone and everything..

2009-07-11T11:08:00.002+08:00

Watch this. It's funny.
This video is by Jeff Dunham. Title : Achmed The Dead Terrorist.

2009-07-11T04:40:00.003+08:00

Yay! Finally received letter from Weizhong. Haa. Replied and shall be posting it later in the morning. Hoho. It's 4.40am right now, and I am still wide awake. Cant believe how am I going to turn my time back again. Lol. Currently chatting with Qi in msn. Totally nth to do and the both of us are rotting. At least she's waiting to go out.. Nt like me. Hahaha! Suddenly have the craves for Mcspicy, Subway and spicy foods! But wher to find in such hours? Only can wait till tml.. Duh :(

2009-07-08T18:41:00.003+08:00

I've been slacking at home for the past 24hrs.! Is there any kind soul who wants to bring me out for a short while? LOL. Currently plurking and chatting with Amber&Celestia in msn. Heh. And Amber wants to Farmart for seafood! But dont knw if able to go tonight anot kos i'm short of cash. Duh! So bored at home luh. Shall continue when there's more to post.. :)

2009-07-04T20:04:00.002+08:00

Spent the whole of last night at 12th Element celebrating Dickson&XiaoHao's bday. Haha. Nt really fun thou but still enjoyed abit laughing at their drunk actions. Lol. Bus-ed home with Pei and a few else at 6am in the morning and rested for 2hrs before gg to jurong east. Visited Weizhong through the PLC, chatted and it's very good to see him aft such a long time, but there's still many tings in my heart, dying to spill everything out to him but there's someone else which stopped me from doing so. Tried to act as if i was happy, i'm fine and there's nth in my mind but deep down inside my heart.. It's nt tis way.. I know waiting for the letter takes a very long time and yet a letter without the postal code.. Omg! Hahaha! Headed home aft the visit and fell straight asleep the moment i lied on my bed. Lol. Woke up, had popiah for dinner and nw chatting in msn with Qi. Heh. Will be gg out later, yay! But it's still quite bored when you're without someone you appreciated and it's always bored when you're out alone. Haa.

i actually found out the truth which she has been hiding from me. Trying to act as thou she doesnt know a thing. I really just hope to say tis in your face.. But i'm giving you enough face just kos i respect you for who you are. I dont wanto give so much comments but all tt i wanto say is tt I know all tis you do is for little brother's good, but have you spared a thought for the others? When others really needed help, needed support, needed encouragement, needed everything to just do a decision? Have you ever helped? Were you there? Were the whole family there to support just a fucking small decision?Your little brother's your family's treasure, but what i need, is only for your family to stop questioning those rubbish and trust someone better than yourselves! I know all of you are very straightforward, want to do what then do what.. But, i'm only begging you to spare a thought for others..

2009-06-29T16:39:00.001+08:00

IT'S SO BORED....!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

2009-06-25T16:27:00.004+08:00

Ahhh!!! Finally, i've dragged everything frm my hp to the laptop so tt i've many many spaces for pictures and songs! Yay!! LOL. Been too long since i've blogged.. Kos i've nth to blog.. Just gg out every night with my lovely sixsome or staying at home.. It's just so bored lar. Humphs. Will be having steamboat with my family tonight! Yipee :) Waiting for mummy to knock off from work then meet her at ShengSiong to buy the ingredients. Haa :D Sis nt back yet and Daddy's gg to work soon i guess.. Home alone. So boring! Hmmm.. :(

* I dont know what's going on.... *

2009-06-12T15:32:00.003+08:00

Omg! It's bored bored bored! Daddy has woken up, and i'm still using the lappie.. What a life i have. If only i can work, i sure go work nw der. Hahaha. Gt so many many things for this few months.. Quite stress also, and nobody has rung my phone at all except for Xueqi and Pei.. And i went out to meet Xueqi&co. in the middle of the night as i was too too bored at hme. Haa. Sms-ed Pei but no reply, think still slping ba. Humphs. Wonder if i should go Mandai later in the night? Quite tired but i dont wanto slp as i'll wake up late in the midnight later.. Humphs! Bored~~

2009-06-12T02:40:00.002+08:00

Another day has passed.. So bored. Woke up in the late night agn. Intended to go to Mandai, but stayed at home instead as i was lazy. Haa. Gt nth to do luh, sian. Can only play RestaurantCity, msn also nobody online.. Hais. Is there someone kind enough to give me a call and ask me out? LOL. :X

2009-06-11T03:11:00.004+08:00

Edited.

Met up with Pei and Huat at JP today to have my haircut. And i'm very satisfied with it. Haa! Was actually planning to go for lunch tgt or so but cancelled it in the end as everyone's too tired. So we separated our ways after finish smoking and i fell asleep straight until 1am.. Lol. Many ppl called to ask how was everything.. Which was nt that bad as others are still concerned. Heh. Oh, i had a nightmare.. I dreamt that my friend stabbed their maid twice and fell on the floor, she screamed so eerily and everything just seemed so so real.. Eew! Haha. Anyway, anyone can intro some new songs to me? I'm getting so bored with my blog's songs.. :(

Hais. Time flies so fast..
Seems like i'm so alone all of a sudden even thou i've alr knew that i would be alone..
But it's okay, i still have my lovely sixsome with me.
Thanks girls for everything :)

2009-06-06T17:55:00.006+08:00

Heh. Met up with Xueqi last night. Was gg to Farmart initially, but somethings happened so we u-turned back to lot1. Lol. Bought our cigarettes and saw Yy, chatted abit with her then went over to control to meet Xuewei. Haa. Slacked slacked slacked, then i felt abit hungry, so we headed to Mcdonald's to fill our stomach. Yummy! Aft having our food, went back to smoking area and Ziying called saying that she wanted to cme out. Rang KH up to see wher he was, and we went over to Yewtee to meet Ziying while Xueqi went to chalet with her bf. Ying and I shared Orea Cheesecake from McCafe and KH had his McChicken meal. Went back to car to slack, smoked and we then decided to ask KH to teach us driving! Haa! Laughed and had fun, but was only for a short distance of road. Nw i understand hw tiring it is to be in the driver's seat. KH continued this, he said "ya lor, sit beside very worried, dont knw the driver knows hw to drive anot.." LMAO! Sent Ziying back and I came home too, bathed and fell asleep. And here i am after my 'breakfast'. Haha! Gg to mandai later on. Gonna go get myself prepared soon~ :D

2009-06-05T06:56:00.003+08:00

Omg! It's 6.56am in the morning now and I am still awake! Wonder how am i gg to wake up to see my counsellor later.. Gosh~ Went out at abt 12plus, met up with Xueqi at blk469 and wasted out time away tgt with Jarek&Daotong. Lol. Actually gg over Yewtee to meet Ziying, but didnt go in the end as Xueqi didnt wanto go.. So we watched channel8 using Daotong's phone. Haha! Show ended and we walked over to Sunshine, shared kway chap. Hee! Slack and slack agn till 5plus and we separated with each other, came back home and here i am infront of the laptop blogging. Hoho. It's so bored lar. Counsellor cmg over at 3.30pm later. I gt to go catch some slp before that then! Heh. Ziying enrolled herself at BBDC alr, asked me if i'm gg over today, but i'm still considering as the time might be quite packed for me.. Lol. Hopefully there is time for me to go for enrolment later! I pray to get my license soon~ :)

I'm so freaking tired and sad of all this stupid stuffs.
Why is it that i have to take all this in exchange for just a few seconds or minutes of concern from you?
Does it mean that i have to fork all out to be treated just a little better in return?
I dont understand.
And i dont know what to do..

2009-06-01T19:13:00.001+08:00

I MISS MY DEAREST SIXSOME :)

2009-06-01T14:01:00.002+08:00

i'm backkk.. sucha boring day indeed. and i seriously wonder what should i do nw. there isn't much to surf on the net too. my dear sixsome are all slpin except for me. what to do, what to do?! :(

2009-05-30T12:04:00.002+08:00

It is so so so boring!! Edited my blogskin agn. And ta-daa~ I'm finally satisfied with it. Heh. But my songs are still nt done yet.. Came back home this morning from temple aft breakfast. Slept throughout the whole of ytd. Shiok. Chatted with Pei on the phone just now and she told me abt her nightmare. Lol! Dont know if i should go JP with her later on, kos she says tt she wanna go look for job as there's shops employing nw. Should i go?? Hmmm. Bored to death lar! Shall end my post here. Ciao~

2009-05-27T18:51:00.000+08:00

yay! i'm finally done with my blog again!
whahaha!
and i've put my dearest sixsome's photos right on top and weizhong's photo beside.
isn't tt great? (LOL)
anyway, it's getting late.
and i have nt prepared myself yet.
gg to mandai later on.
tml's court. wish me luck peeps!
tata :)

2009-05-05T10:35:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i just wish that you were beside me,
But i only see everything empty..
I wish so that you were here,
So that i can keep you accompanied..
Tears keep rolling,
But nobody sees..
How i hope that i didn't heed that voice,
But it's too late for me..
I wish & i kept wishing,
For you to return to me..
But i don't know if all my apologies would be exhanged in return for you to forgive me..
I miss you,
Miss you still..
But,
Nobody understands the pain within..